The Third Side of the Coin

Thanks to my amazing friends and family, I was able to go to Uruguay last week to visit a great church, and to know more of South America. It was an amazing adventure. While in one of the craft marketplaces, I met a man with a very unique talent. He collects coins from all around the world, and carves out the inside until only the image of the coin and the outer rim are left. I and my friend who came with me talked with him at his booth for about an hour, marveling at his ability to create beauty from these coins.

One of the most amazing coins he carved

This random encounter with coins naturally made me think about coins, which led me to create a metaphor for what God has been telling me lately. Many times we have a two-sided mindset: the one side of the coin, and the other. The one side of the situation, and the other. The one way to solve a problem, and the other. But we forget that there's always a third side - the side of the miraculous. The side of blessing. Of comfort. Of strength. Of love. Of courage. Of value. Of peace. Of joy. Of perfect timing. The side of God.

The only way to live in this third-side mindset is to continually dwell in His Presence. Another metaphor: when you're always around someone (your best friend, husband/wife, etc.), you start to see the world through their eyes. Even when you're away from them, you have experiences that remind you of them, and you think about how they would react. It's the same with Christ: the only way to see the world through the eyes of Christ is to spend an abundant amount of time with Him.

Let's go personal. I don't know what the next step of my life looks like. I'm an extremely analytical person; therefore, it's normal for me to have at least one plan, if not three or four. I'm continually looking at all the facts of my situation, and trying to figure out the best way to move forward. One of my many plans for the near future is to come back to IBRP in January. In order to do that, I would need two very important things: permission to come back, and about $8000 for a year's worth of travel, food, place to live, etc. To complicate the matter, I also think of the fact that I'll be with my family for Christmas during most of my time in the States, leaving hardly any time for working, or publicizing my desire to return. Therefore, I end my well-thought-out plan thinking "for this plan to actually come to fruition, one of two miracles has to happen: either someone at IBRP pays me to come back, airfare and everything, or I raise all $8000 in less than a month." I end my well-thought-out plan thinking "there are only two sides of this coin: either God will provide a miracle in one of these two ways, or I'll have to stay in the States until I get enough money to come back." Obviously, this well-thought-out plan leaves me very nervous, kinda stressed out, and totally unsure about the future. But, as I dwell in His Presence, I'm reminded of the third-side perspective.

This third-side perspective gives me peace, confidence, and profound joy. This third side tells me that I don't have to think about how it's going to happen, because God already has thought it out for me. And not only that, but He's already started His plan of making it happen. Even more, He knows exactly when He's going to tell me, how I'm going to react, what I'm going to learn, who is going to learn from me, and what's going to happen after that. Wow. What a side. Why wouldn't I keep my thoughts focused on this side forever, right?!

Another thought within the third-side perspective: 

It's so scary to dream big. Because once I start thinking about it, I feel like I'm setting myself up for failure. But this is a lie from the world, from myself, and most likely from the devil. I know for sure that I will win either way; failure doesn't exist with God. Either He will accomplish these dreams through me, or He will release me from the responsibility by showing me that another person is already set up to accomplish them. Either way, these dreams of mine will happen. That said, here's my seemingly-impossible-bucket list of dreams:

1. To have more than 50 "kids" via starting a permanent foster home system in a Latin American country, and training Christian couples from that country how to be parents of orphans.

2. To coach missionaries from many different countries in figuring out their strengths and how their strengths correlate with leading their ministry, to teach them how to be coaches, and to equip them with resources that will help them lead their ministry.

3. To be a loving parent of orphans, and a loving wife to the most perfect-for-me man of God I know.

4. To change the world perspective of Self via resourcing every Assemblies of God pastor in the whole world with self-talk material so they can teach it to the leaders in their church, and the leaders can teach it to the people in their church, and so on. (It's okay if you're confused on this one -- I'll explain what I mean by self-talk in another blog sometime. :)

5. To obtain a Masters of Organizational Leadership, coaching certification, counseling certification, certification to teach Styles-of-Influence material, and doctorate in some sort of missiology. 

6. To encourage all believers to a higher level of holiness/sanctification via making seminars and resources about purity, integrity, holiness, love, joy, and peace accessible to and understandable at all levels of maturity (kids, tweens, teens, young adults, adults, older adults, etc.).

7. To be a role model of encouragement/inspiration to all girls like me via teaming up with Jamie Grace and Moriah Peters, having conferences all over the USA for girls our age and younger about the concept of truly making God your first love, and believing about yourself the things He says you are. 

After I wrote this list of life-dreams, I was reminded that God's Word says He has plans for us that are so much more than we could ever imagine. We were built to be amazed by how God is working in and through us. These dreams of mine are HUGE! At least to me they are; I can't even fathom how God could do more with my life than what I've listed out here. My little ole self has HUGE dreams, but God's are bigger?! Unbelievable. So exciting!!! I went from being really scared of dreaming big, to really looking forward to being amazed by the way God works in and through me. Dreaming big makes life so exciting. :)

Two for One - Part Two: No More Number Two

There's no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. (1 John 4:18)

Once upon a time, I had a good amount of money saved up, that God told me not to use for my trip to Argentina. When He told me this, I obeyed, but in my heart I was thinking "this money is still available to me, so I can use it just in case God doesn't come through." He did provide all I needed for my trip, in a very miraculous way, but that's normal for me because God has always provided everything I need in His perfect timing. After realizing that my saved money was no longer needed as a back-up plan for my trip to Argentina, I put it in my mind towards another back-up plan: to put a significant dent in my student loans, or maybe pay for my next missions trip, or for any emergencies that may come up."

I didn't realize it then, but all of my thoughts were sensible, but they were thoughts formed from living in fear. I was living bound to my fears instead of to the promises of God.

About a month into my trip here in Argentina, I felt like God was telling me to give away all the money I had in savings. Since this was a huge decision for me, I decided to pray about it for a week, just to make sure it was God I was hearing, and not just the emotion of being in a different country, seeing so many needs around me, and wanting to cater to them. Throughout this week of prayer, God revealed to me that, when perceived from the perspective of a mind bound to the promises of God, this wasn't a big request. As I said in one of my earlier blog posts, God has been taking away all of my fears, and has replaced them with love for Him and others. Therefore, when He asked me to do this, and I realized it really was God and not just an emotional response, I didn't perceive it as a big ask. Instead, I immediately thought, "what's this amount of money that I've obtained in my own strength, when compared to the infinite strengths and provision of the God who loves me?!"

It's now very obvious to me that my way of thinking has changed, and I believe it's a result of the change God has made in my heart from fear to love. That said, I hope this has prompted you to self-reflection: what's your back-up plan? What's holding you back from the infinite, grandiose blessings of God? I guarantee, when you find the answer, and start replacing it with God, you too will be abundantly satisfied and showered with the joy of obedience.

Two for One - Part One: Number One Priority

The Beautiful IBRP (Instituto Biblico Rio de la Plata)

My personal devotional time with the Lord has been inconsistent since the day I started it. I've had moments of consistency, 40 days here, half a year there. But I always end up faltering, finding other things that seemed more important (sleep, TV time, time with friends, homework, work work, etc.) and lofting them to the top of my priority list. 

Here in IBRP, it's so easy to have a constant, personal devotional time. Granted, there is a requirement of this school that we all start our day by spending personal time with the Lord at 6:20am. But, that's not really the reason I consider it easy. The real reason is that I've finally figured out for myself that my relationship with God has to be my number one priority. 

Everything else CAN, and does, wait. When I "tithe" my time to God - when I give the very first part of my day to my Creator - He recognizes that it's a difficulty I'm overcoming for Him, and blesses the rest of my day. I get so much more done, have so much more energy, and am so much more content now, all because I live believing that my relationship with God is the most important thing in the whole world. Nothing else matters if my relationship with Him isn't happening.

The outward results of this inward change are tremendous. In addition to my morning devotional time, I find myself going to the prayer room at least once a day, and spending 1-2 hours in there, just dwelling in His presence. I'm constantly overjoyed by the fact that Jesus spent so much of his 3.5 years of ministry seeking time with His Father for direction. If Jesus, the only perfect person who ever lived, needed a personal devotional time, how much more do I? And by desiring to be more like Jesus, I get the privilege of resting in my heavenly Father's presence, just like Jesus did! 

My actions and thoughts have changed, due to the way my focus has changed. I don't have a more consistent devotional time because I've developed a new habit. I have a more consistent devotional time because I've completely, and continually, shifted my focus to God. I've not got it all figured out, by any means. I still have to daily remind myself that He is number one. But that said, every day gets easier and easier to cast away all my fears, and to replace them with a love for His presence in my life. It's so cool!

A Day in Argentina - Ayuno

"'Breakfast' means 'break the fast that you did overnight, when you were sleeping (weren't eating).' I just assumed that 'ayuno' means 'fast' because it comes from the word 'desayuno' (the spanish word for 'breakfast')." 

Last night, that's how I explained to my roommate how I knew that the word "ayuno" means "fast." Today, the entire school participated in an all-day "ayuno." And it was incredible. We started the day with a personal devotional time for an hour, then had a corporate worship/prayer service for two hours. 

After that we split into our classes (1st years, 2nd years, etc.), and prayed as a class for an hour. I thought it was amazing how natural everyone in our class was about praying corporately, with only ourselves guiding us. No one was assigned to direct our prayers; we just prayed as the Spirit led us.

An hour passed like it was a few minutes, and then we reconvened as a school to have a full-on IBRP chapel service. Today's chapel service was unlike any other service I have attended. The worship was so full of energy and joy from the Holy Spirit, that the students were basically calling for encores, and the worship leader did as they requested. We went three or four songs past the normal worship set.

The speaker for today's chapel was a former missionary to Argentina; he's now working in the national Assemblies of God World Missions office. His sermon was about King David and how he gained strength from God when everything was terrible (1 Samuel 30:6). He compared David to the students, saying that there will be times when we want to give up because everything is terrible. Instead, we need to ground ourselves into God, because He is the best friend we could ever have, especially during terrible times. Once he finished preaching, we had an hour and a half of personal prayer time to end our day of ayuno. 

God revealed many things to me about my fears today. I won't bore you by delving into all 7 hours of my time with God. Instead, here are some sentences God gave me to proclaim over myself; I hope they will encourage you as much as they encouraged me: 

For when I fear what others think of me: The only One who matters is the God who created me. When I'm doing His will, I feel secure because my identity is in Him. I'm not afraid.

For when I fear being used (in ministry) until I'm empty / too tired to keep going: God always gives strength to those who do what He's called them to do. It's called compassion. When I'm doing His will, I'll have an abundance of compassion, always. I'm not afraid.

For when I fear being injured: My Father is always with me, protecting me, and filling me with compassion. When I'm doing His will, there's nothing that can stop me. I'm not afraid.

For when I fear doing the wrong thing: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and only through Him who gives me strength. When I'm doing His will, I'm doing the right thing (there's no way I could do the wrong thing). I'm not afraid.

For when I fear my fears will hinder me from advancing the Kingdom: I am not the sum of my fears. God is preserving every word I speak for an appropriate time. When I'm doing His will, He's making my words and the meditations of my heart pleasing to Him. I'm not afraid.

Before today, I had a lot of fears I didn't realize I was holding onto. Today, and from now on, I will fear no more.

In summary, I leave you with these wonderful lyrics from Mercy Me (aka - my new life song):

Greater is the One who is inside of me 
Than he who is living in the world. 
There'll be days I lose the battle 
Grace says that it doesn't matter 
'Cause the cross already won the war. 
I am learning to run freely, 
Understanding just how He sees me, 
And it makes me love Him more and more.

Same Same But Different

Language aside, being here at IBRP is very similar to my first few days at SAGU. Everyone is super friendly, they all want to know who I am, where I'm from, what I'm studying. But bringing language back into the matter, being here is so different! There are students from many different countries (Uruguay, Columbia, Ecuador, Guatemala, Dominican Republic, Venezuela, Argentina) and that's just a from the ones I've met! Most are from Argentina, but I predict there will be many more countries to add to that list as the weeks progress. Since there are so many countries represented here, there are also many forms of Spanish as well as different cultures. So, I won't only be learning Argentine Spanish and culture, but instead I will learn most of the South/Latin American cultures and styles of Spanish! As one of the students put it, I will know how to communicate in almost every Spanish-speaking country. So exciting!!! It will be a lot harder than learning just one form of Spanish, but I'm very much up for the challenge.

A view of the building I live in, and "El Parque," which is the courtyard between all the buildings on the IBRP campus. :)

A worry of mine is failing in the teaching of this English class. I know it's what I want to do - I love teaching, I really do - but I'm not sure I'm ready! I don't feel prepared with adequate training or materials for formal teaching; I'm much better at informal teaching. But, I will try to instead look at it as an opportunity for growth and valuable experience! And I will lean on God wholeheartedly because I know for sure that I can't do all of this (learn Spanish and teach English) at the same time without His strength and wisdom. Please pray for me as I embark on this specific endeavor. Also, I would appreciate any and all advice and/or materials that any of you English/Spanish teachers are willing to give.