Two for One - Part Two: No More Number Two

There's no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. (1 John 4:18)

Once upon a time, I had a good amount of money saved up, that God told me not to use for my trip to Argentina. When He told me this, I obeyed, but in my heart I was thinking "this money is still available to me, so I can use it just in case God doesn't come through." He did provide all I needed for my trip, in a very miraculous way, but that's normal for me because God has always provided everything I need in His perfect timing. After realizing that my saved money was no longer needed as a back-up plan for my trip to Argentina, I put it in my mind towards another back-up plan: to put a significant dent in my student loans, or maybe pay for my next missions trip, or for any emergencies that may come up."

I didn't realize it then, but all of my thoughts were sensible, but they were thoughts formed from living in fear. I was living bound to my fears instead of to the promises of God.

About a month into my trip here in Argentina, I felt like God was telling me to give away all the money I had in savings. Since this was a huge decision for me, I decided to pray about it for a week, just to make sure it was God I was hearing, and not just the emotion of being in a different country, seeing so many needs around me, and wanting to cater to them. Throughout this week of prayer, God revealed to me that, when perceived from the perspective of a mind bound to the promises of God, this wasn't a big request. As I said in one of my earlier blog posts, God has been taking away all of my fears, and has replaced them with love for Him and others. Therefore, when He asked me to do this, and I realized it really was God and not just an emotional response, I didn't perceive it as a big ask. Instead, I immediately thought, "what's this amount of money that I've obtained in my own strength, when compared to the infinite strengths and provision of the God who loves me?!"

It's now very obvious to me that my way of thinking has changed, and I believe it's a result of the change God has made in my heart from fear to love. That said, I hope this has prompted you to self-reflection: what's your back-up plan? What's holding you back from the infinite, grandiose blessings of God? I guarantee, when you find the answer, and start replacing it with God, you too will be abundantly satisfied and showered with the joy of obedience.

Two for One - Part One: Number One Priority

The Beautiful IBRP (Instituto Biblico Rio de la Plata)

My personal devotional time with the Lord has been inconsistent since the day I started it. I've had moments of consistency, 40 days here, half a year there. But I always end up faltering, finding other things that seemed more important (sleep, TV time, time with friends, homework, work work, etc.) and lofting them to the top of my priority list. 

Here in IBRP, it's so easy to have a constant, personal devotional time. Granted, there is a requirement of this school that we all start our day by spending personal time with the Lord at 6:20am. But, that's not really the reason I consider it easy. The real reason is that I've finally figured out for myself that my relationship with God has to be my number one priority. 

Everything else CAN, and does, wait. When I "tithe" my time to God - when I give the very first part of my day to my Creator - He recognizes that it's a difficulty I'm overcoming for Him, and blesses the rest of my day. I get so much more done, have so much more energy, and am so much more content now, all because I live believing that my relationship with God is the most important thing in the whole world. Nothing else matters if my relationship with Him isn't happening.

The outward results of this inward change are tremendous. In addition to my morning devotional time, I find myself going to the prayer room at least once a day, and spending 1-2 hours in there, just dwelling in His presence. I'm constantly overjoyed by the fact that Jesus spent so much of his 3.5 years of ministry seeking time with His Father for direction. If Jesus, the only perfect person who ever lived, needed a personal devotional time, how much more do I? And by desiring to be more like Jesus, I get the privilege of resting in my heavenly Father's presence, just like Jesus did! 

My actions and thoughts have changed, due to the way my focus has changed. I don't have a more consistent devotional time because I've developed a new habit. I have a more consistent devotional time because I've completely, and continually, shifted my focus to God. I've not got it all figured out, by any means. I still have to daily remind myself that He is number one. But that said, every day gets easier and easier to cast away all my fears, and to replace them with a love for His presence in my life. It's so cool!

A Day in Argentina - Ayuno

"'Breakfast' means 'break the fast that you did overnight, when you were sleeping (weren't eating).' I just assumed that 'ayuno' means 'fast' because it comes from the word 'desayuno' (the spanish word for 'breakfast')." 

Last night, that's how I explained to my roommate how I knew that the word "ayuno" means "fast." Today, the entire school participated in an all-day "ayuno." And it was incredible. We started the day with a personal devotional time for an hour, then had a corporate worship/prayer service for two hours. 

After that we split into our classes (1st years, 2nd years, etc.), and prayed as a class for an hour. I thought it was amazing how natural everyone in our class was about praying corporately, with only ourselves guiding us. No one was assigned to direct our prayers; we just prayed as the Spirit led us.

An hour passed like it was a few minutes, and then we reconvened as a school to have a full-on IBRP chapel service. Today's chapel service was unlike any other service I have attended. The worship was so full of energy and joy from the Holy Spirit, that the students were basically calling for encores, and the worship leader did as they requested. We went three or four songs past the normal worship set.

The speaker for today's chapel was a former missionary to Argentina; he's now working in the national Assemblies of God World Missions office. His sermon was about King David and how he gained strength from God when everything was terrible (1 Samuel 30:6). He compared David to the students, saying that there will be times when we want to give up because everything is terrible. Instead, we need to ground ourselves into God, because He is the best friend we could ever have, especially during terrible times. Once he finished preaching, we had an hour and a half of personal prayer time to end our day of ayuno. 

God revealed many things to me about my fears today. I won't bore you by delving into all 7 hours of my time with God. Instead, here are some sentences God gave me to proclaim over myself; I hope they will encourage you as much as they encouraged me: 

For when I fear what others think of me: The only One who matters is the God who created me. When I'm doing His will, I feel secure because my identity is in Him. I'm not afraid.

For when I fear being used (in ministry) until I'm empty / too tired to keep going: God always gives strength to those who do what He's called them to do. It's called compassion. When I'm doing His will, I'll have an abundance of compassion, always. I'm not afraid.

For when I fear being injured: My Father is always with me, protecting me, and filling me with compassion. When I'm doing His will, there's nothing that can stop me. I'm not afraid.

For when I fear doing the wrong thing: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and only through Him who gives me strength. When I'm doing His will, I'm doing the right thing (there's no way I could do the wrong thing). I'm not afraid.

For when I fear my fears will hinder me from advancing the Kingdom: I am not the sum of my fears. God is preserving every word I speak for an appropriate time. When I'm doing His will, He's making my words and the meditations of my heart pleasing to Him. I'm not afraid.

Before today, I had a lot of fears I didn't realize I was holding onto. Today, and from now on, I will fear no more.

In summary, I leave you with these wonderful lyrics from Mercy Me (aka - my new life song):

Greater is the One who is inside of me 
Than he who is living in the world. 
There'll be days I lose the battle 
Grace says that it doesn't matter 
'Cause the cross already won the war. 
I am learning to run freely, 
Understanding just how He sees me, 
And it makes me love Him more and more.

Same Same But Different

Language aside, being here at IBRP is very similar to my first few days at SAGU. Everyone is super friendly, they all want to know who I am, where I'm from, what I'm studying. But bringing language back into the matter, being here is so different! There are students from many different countries (Uruguay, Columbia, Ecuador, Guatemala, Dominican Republic, Venezuela, Argentina) and that's just a from the ones I've met! Most are from Argentina, but I predict there will be many more countries to add to that list as the weeks progress. Since there are so many countries represented here, there are also many forms of Spanish as well as different cultures. So, I won't only be learning Argentine Spanish and culture, but instead I will learn most of the South/Latin American cultures and styles of Spanish! As one of the students put it, I will know how to communicate in almost every Spanish-speaking country. So exciting!!! It will be a lot harder than learning just one form of Spanish, but I'm very much up for the challenge.

A view of the building I live in, and "El Parque," which is the courtyard between all the buildings on the IBRP campus. :)

A worry of mine is failing in the teaching of this English class. I know it's what I want to do - I love teaching, I really do - but I'm not sure I'm ready! I don't feel prepared with adequate training or materials for formal teaching; I'm much better at informal teaching. But, I will try to instead look at it as an opportunity for growth and valuable experience! And I will lean on God wholeheartedly because I know for sure that I can't do all of this (learn Spanish and teach English) at the same time without His strength and wisdom. Please pray for me as I embark on this specific endeavor. Also, I would appreciate any and all advice and/or materials that any of you English/Spanish teachers are willing to give.

Adventures of the Past (Part 2)

"Goodbye may seem forever. Farewell is like the end. But in my heart's the memory, and there you'll always be." - The Fox and The Hound

I'm not one for unrealistically dramatizing my life stories, but nostalgia set in when I was watching The Fox and the Hound the other day, and I couldn't help but connect the above line with my current stage of life. Since I last blogged, I resigned from my job at The Oaks Fellowship, and packed up my life in Texas. Now I'm visiting family and friends on the East Coast as I conclude the final preparations for my trip to Argentina. I don't know where I'll end up after my adventures in Argentina, so I may be back in Texas -- only God knows at the moment! Regardless of where I'm going, the memories made and relationships built these last four years have forever changed me. That said, here's a reminiscent summary of my thoughts on each year:

The development of the OSL Logo. :)

I started Year 1 of college 1,200 miles away from home in small-town Waxahachie, TX, just south of Dallas. It was a huge leap of faith, as I didn't know much about the place, but I knew it was where I needed to be. Similar to what I'm about to do, I left everyone I knew, and started a new season of life in a brand new-to-me place. What I remember most about this year was the amount of information I received. My mind was blown by new concepts and perspectives taught in my classes. My heart was filled with all kinds of excitement as I engaged in friendships with so many people who had the same heart for ministry as I did. And my soul was matured during the countless moments of God speaking to me. 

The most epic OSL class ever. 

During Year 2, I completed the Oaks School of Leadership (OSL). At the time it was a two-year program built by a partnership between Southwestern Assemblies of God University and The Oaks Fellowship. I thoroughly enjoyed being in the close-knit family of maturing students and leaders. I'm still astonished by how strong the relationships were built between so many of us so quickly during these two years. We all embraced the concept of OSL being our family, which meant we did everything together, we accepted one another for who we were, and we encouraged each other to experience new growth every day.

He's so precious!

Year 3 was filled with surprises, and opportunities to live outside the realms of my comfort zone. I started the year with a precarious attitude. Seeing that my end goal was missions, I wasn't quite satisfied when I received a job as an academic and internships coordinator; at the time, I didn't see what that would have to do with my interest in missions. But, after a few months of working with the amazing OSL team, I realized I was developing skills which will help me when I am working in missions -- specifically the gift of administration, which was something I wasn't aware I possessed until this year. You see, God had placed a vision on my heart during Year 2: to make sure orphans like this one (pic-right), have loving homes via training married couples to be adoptive parents. At the end of this year, while on a missions trip to Honduras, all I had learned about myself and God's plan for me reignited my passion about that vision. As always, God had a beautiful plan for me all along, and it unfolded just as He wanted, in spite of my apprehensive tendencies.

(bottom left) OSL Weekly Hall Devo
(the other two are obvious) Graduation!

In the transition between Year 3 and 4 (aka - the summer), I stayed in Texas and worked as the part-time Administrator for OSL. When Year 4 started, my hours were increased to full-time, and I was still a full-time student. I was asked two questions quite frequently throughout this year: "What do you do?" and "How do you do what you do?" Managing my work life and college senior life was challenging, but through the combined experience, I gained confidence in strengths I didn't know I had. The whole year I was amazed, along with everyone else, at the high capacity in which I operated. It was only by God's grace that I had enough energy and time to get it all done.

Thanks for reading this very abbreviated version of my college season of life. I had fun writing it, so I hope you had just as much fun reading it. Feel free to post your thoughts; I'd love to read your comments. :)